Dark Clothing and Standing Out
A while back I was scrolling through the INFP tags and saw someone post a description that included something about INFPs typically wearing “black, baggy clothes.” The blogger’s reaction was something along the lines of “HOW DID THEY KNOW” and I looked at that kind of skeptically, thinking “How can they just stereotype us into what kind of clothes we wear?”
But then I looked down and realized I was wearing black, baggy clothes. But I sectioned that to different reasons, one of them being that I don’t really care for bright colors or form-fitting clothes because I don’t want to stand out. Being that INFPs are highly creative people (and the fact that I haven’t identified more than 1 in my current social circles) I assumed that perhaps there are other INFPs out there with better fashion sense than I—all the while in the back of my head knowing that INFPs have Introverted Feeling as dominant, and not Extroverted Feeling, which alerts people to social norms and trying to fit in with others.
Today I was reading about the Enneagram, specifically about type 4, which I adhere to, and was surprised to read that 4s, obsessed with individuality (“the need to be special”) typically wear black or violet clothing, so it’s easy to spot us. Now that it’s come up twice, my reaction is in an emote: e_____e
I’ve always assumed that I wear dark clothing and baggy, non-form-fitting clothes because I’d rather blend in and not draw attention to myself. But after observing myself critically for a bit, I realized a few things.
In wearing generally dark or earthen-colored clothing, and owning no skirts or dresses, not wearing makeup or fussing about my hair, especially since I’m a girl, I am REALLY going against what modern society expects from me as a female.
Also, I say that I wear these clothes to not draw attention to myself, as opposed to bright, crazy colors, or large amounts of skin showing.
Yet in trying to accomplish these things, or at least assuming that’s what I was trying to accomplish, I end up looking quite different from a large portion of American girls my age because I don’t do the same thing.
To be sure, it’s not like I’m trying to stand out with crazy hair or neon clothing or anything like that, but in all honestly, it’s a silent rebelling against the “typical” American girl who I do not want to be identified with. I am such a hardcore Four that I don’t even realize I’m doing it. Somewhere in my subconscious, I want to be different, want to be special. And as far as my appearance goes, I have gone for the comfortable and the secure that dark, baggy clothing gives.
There was a time a few months ago where I tried to incorporate other colors. Bright ones. Pink, neon green. I like these colors. And they actually look nice on me. But every day I would put them on, I felt insecure, like a target, and finally put them away after about two months to went back to my dark clothing. After so many years of dressing like this, it’s where I feel most secure.
And if someone ever gave me a make-over, and made me pretty, made me look super nice so that even I was amazed with how I looked, I don’t know how I would react, to be honest. Would the confidence gained as a beauty outweigh the fact that I’d feel insecure?
Obviously I don’t put myself into many of these circumstances to really know.
TL;DR: I’m sorry that this post is a bit of a jumble. And it talks more to the Four part of me as part of the Enneagram and not the INFP part. But I’d love to hear what other INFPs wear as far as fashion and clothing goes for them personally, and their reasons behind it.